Where's MacGyver when you need him?

Find a comfortable chair and your favorite drink folks because this is a long one.  You might also want to wear a bib so if you spray your favorite drink, you don't ruin your clothes.  Consider yourself warned.  Now let's begin....

During the planning of this wedding, many people told me that something would go wrong.  I heard stories of lost bridesmaids dresses or tuxes, cake disasters, lost or dropped rings and even a best man being attacked by bees days before the wedding.  All of these are bad and I wouldn't ever want that stress on a bride or groom.  However, all of that pales in comparison to what happened to me.

• No names have been changed to protect the innocent.  
• This is a true story. 
• I couldn't have made this up if I wanted to.

7/21/18
Everyone says that you need a good night's sleep before your wedding day.  I couldn't sleep due to excitement so I go ahead and get up to take a shower.  The plan was to shower, get dressed, go pick up some last minute things at Walmart and then pick up my entourage to head to the salon to get our hair done.  However some plans are never achieved and today's plan fell into that category.

After showering I go to open my bathroom door to finish getting ready and hear an awful noise from the doorknob.  The doorknob has malfunctioned and won't open.  It just spins round and round and round and round....like a carousel from hell.  Nothing I can do will make this doorknob work.   It's my wedding day...a day that I have waited forever to happen and I'm standing in my PJs with a wet head of hair stuck in my bathroom.  I become hysterical and almost have a panic attack.  I force myself to calm down and start to think of how I can get out.  

How in the world am I going to get out of here?  I've waited far too long to be Tate's wife for some stupid bathroom door to get in my way.  I pray for the strength of Samson to rip the door off the hinges.  I jerk on the door with all I've got.  All I've got was the strength of Barney Fife.  What would MacGyver do?  Heck, what would Mary Sue do?  I find nothing in my bathroom that MacGyver/Mary Sue could use to get me out of this trap.  So I start clawing at the door trim.  It'll budge some but won't give enough for me to rip it off the wall.  I claw until the tips of my fingers are red and sore.  I go from having an ugly cry one moment to laughing at the absurdity of the situation the next.  Finally I just give up and pray.  "Father, You said that You were in control of this day.  You said that everything would be alright and I'd become Tate's wife today.  I don't exactly see how that will be accomplished if I'm stuck in this bathroom.  Please tell me what You want me to do."  His answer was scream like a banshee.

I start screaming "Help! Call 911.  I'm stuck in the bathroom.  It's Apt #."  I bang on the interior walls with everything that I have.  My throat is getting sore.  I fear that I won't be able to say "I do" and will just have to nod "yes" at the wedding.  I scream and bang on the walls for over an hour.  I don't get any responses from my neighbors.  I can hear my alarm on my cell phone go off in the other room as well as each text message that's coming in.  I'm confident that one of my entourage will send out a search party when I don't show up to pick them up.  (I'm also confident that if we're late I'll be the only one getting their hair done because those girls will just have to fend for themselves. Ha Ha)  As I give my voice a break from screaming, I hear a wonderful sound.  It's water running through pipes.  Praise God somebody has gotten up to go to the bathroom!  I jump up and start yelling and banging the walls with all that I have.  Shortly afterward I hear a voice at my front door, "Honey, I've called 911 but they are just taking their sweet time to come help you."

It seemed to take the police forever to get to my apartment but I finally hear a knock on my door and "Ma'am are you alone?".  At the time I answered "Yes" respectively.  Once they get a key to the apartment and pop the chain off the hinge, they arrive at the bathroom door and ask me again if I'm alone.  Once again I answer yes.  After telling this story numerous times, I scratch my head and think of so many sarcastic replies to that question.  "Were you at the top of your class?"  "Nope, I'm in here with all the many personalities that have developed in my head in the past hour."  "Nope, I enjoy screaming and banging the walls early on a Saturday morning."  "Nope.  I was timing the 911 system and SPD response time."  "Nope.  I always wanted to be like Harry Houdini and this was the closest that I could get in trying to become an escape artist."  You get my point.  

I inform the officers the importance of the day and my dilemma.  They try to reassure me that all will be well soon and to just stay calm.  The SPD officer tries to use the bathroom doorknob and informs me that it doesn't work.  The lady in me was thinking, "Thank you Captain Obvious" while my inner Jack was thinking of a phrase that mentioned Sherlock.  I hear the officer try to ram the door with their shoulder.  Doesn't work.  They bang on it awhile.  Doesn't open.  Then I hear the lovely sound of a screwdriver working on the doorknob.  When the last screw is unattached and they take off the doorknob, the entire workings inside explode all over the floor.  Free at last!  Free at last!  Thank God almighty, I'm free at last!

I'm asked if I need the fire department to come and check me out.  I shake my head no.  One officer tried to keep my spirits up by saying, "Well it can only get better from here."  The other officer says "Or it's a sign to not to go through with the wedding."  I take their names and thank them for their help.  (I know I had sarcastic comments earlier about them but my mind was not in a good place.  They were doing their job as they were trained and I am truly appreciative of their help.)  I'm sure they had a good chuckle when they got in their car but they were kind enough not to do it in front of me, unlike some of my friends and family.  You know who you are!

I called Danyelle and started the conversation with, "You ain't going to believe this."  She was dumbfounded at first and I repeated the story.  Then I heard the first suppressed chuckle of the day.  She texts Lana with "Heather had a mishap in the bathroom."  Lana thinks that I've fallen and hurt myself or that my nerves have caused my stomach to revolt.  When she is told the truth, her laughter fills my car.  It was an interesting ride to the salon.  We were to be there at 8 am.  Out of respect, I had sent a text to my beautician to let her know the situation and that we may be a little late.  I came in on two wheels to the salon at 8:02 am.  Kendra cheerily greeted me and asked how the lovely bride is doing on this exciting day.  She hadn't read my text.  I get to tell the "Great Bathroom Saga" again and once again I am met with laughter.  As the story gets circulated throughout the day, laughter is shared among the masses.  I know that people are not laughing AT me but AT the situation.  No one has EVER heard of this happening to a bride on their wedding day before.  

My emotions had gone through such a roller coaster that by the time I reach the salon I don't care about anything.  My dress could have fallen off the hanger and been a wrinkled mess.  I don't care.  I'm out of the bathroom.  My nieces could have epic meltdowns.  I don't care.  I'm not trapped in the bathroom.  The church could have a/c problems or lose electricity.  Once again, I don't care because I'm not stuck in the bathroom anymore.  A meteorite could be headed straight to our location while a zombie apocalypse begins to ravage the city and I'd be in my wedding dress sitting in a bean bag chair eating Cheetos while thinking, "You know...today is a good day.  Why?  Because I'm not locked in the damn bathroom."

Even with the fiasco that morning, our wedding was a fun, unbelievable, beyond anything we could imagine day filled with love and laughter.  I will cherish the memory forever.  I will also never go into a bathroom without a cell phone again.  I thought that was a great plan but my wise 10 yr old niece pointed out one flaw.  Make sure the cell phone is charged because a dying or dead cell phone would suck.  (Thanks for looking out for me Peyton!)

So if you're ever around a bride that is about to completely lose it with worry about the little things or thousands of "what ifs" have ravaged her brain, feel free to tell her my story.  Hopefully it'll make her smile or even laugh but more importantly it will show her that everything will work out and to just embrace the day and enjoy every moment.  But if she has a competitive side and wants to top my story...Bring it Sister!  I dare you!

Big & Small

Some may view this blog entry as silly but I don't care.  The truth of the matter is that I didn't write it for you anyway.  I wrote it for me so during those tough days I can look back and remember God's provision and attention to detail.

I remember packing for camp one summer and having problems locating sheets.  I complained to my Mom and she told me to pray about it. Pray about it?  Really?  God is too busy to care about me finding sheets to take to camp.  I looked for two days.  Finally I gave in.  

"God, it's me again.  Mama says to pray to You about all things.  I think that means the big things and not about simple things like finding sheets for camp.  I still think asking You is silly and wasting Your time but I'm going to ask You anyways because Mama said to.  Hope You're not mad. Amen."

I went back to the same closet that I had searched high and low over for the past two days.  There in plain view were the sheets that I needed.  In the words of Mama, "if it were a snake, it'd bite you".  I learned a very valuable lesson that day.  Number 1: God cares about the little things and the big things.  Number 2:  Listen to Mama more often.

I tell you that story to tell you this one but first you need to know some basic things about making jelly.  Making jelly isn't hard, just time consuming.  Mom taught me to freeze the juice in "batches".  (A batch is however many cups of juice needed for that particular type of jelly.)  That way if I only want to make a couple of batches, I only have to defrost two bags and I'm good to go.  Normally you'll always have a bag that doesn't have a full batch so you'll have a remnant bag that you have to wait to use with another remnant bag.  Another issue is the salvage jar.  When pouring out a batch of jelly, you may not have enough to fill a complete jar.  So you put a jar to the side to use for all of those last drops of jelly from each batch.  It's not a pretty jar because you'll see the lines from each batch.

I was given five 1 gallon bags of frozen blackberries.  I had never done blackberry before so this was a real treat.  They almost wouldn't all fit in my Mehu liisa (jelly juicing pot).  I did two cookings of the berries and they produced a lot of juice!  I didn't want any to go to waste.  Once again I remembered the lesson learned from the sheets so before I started I prayed that God would provide an even amount of batches.  He provided eight perfect batches...EIGHT!!!!  

Full to the gills!

1st pot full of juice with more to come

Towards the end I prayed that God would provide an even amount of jars because I just didn't want to have to deal with an ugly salvage jar.  He provided 45 half pint jars (8 oz) and 25 4 oz jars of blackberry jelly.  I am thrilled!

I can't help but smile at that memory from long ago.  Not only am I thankful that God cares about the big and small things in life but for also giving me a wise Mama to teach me through her words and actions how important it is to go to God for all things.  Big or small...good or bad...no matter your mood or state of mind...24 hours a day, 365 days a year...God is there for His children and He still answers prayer.   

An eventful Monday

Dad always gave blood, especially for the babies.  Once he got sick, he had to stop.  I gave for the first time in 2014 because Dad needed it.  After he passed away, I decided to continue the tradition in memory of him.  I have O- blood.  Since this is a very sought after blood type, my # is on speed dial at the local Life Share unit. 

This past Monday the blood mobile was scheduled to be at my office building and I planned on donating.  I have small veins so being hydrated is very important in helping the nurses with their task.  So I increased my water intake.  I knew that I would need protein so I went to Papa’s for one of their huge burgers.  I knew that I couldn’t give right after eating lunch so I waited 45 minutes after eating before going down to donate.  Anthony is the master of sticking small veins.  He worked his magic and I was able to give my pint.  I was never light headed or nauseous during the process.  I picked up my free shirt, water and oatmeal crème pie on my way out.  I was fine as I stepped out of the blood mobile.  I was fine as I walked across the building atrium.  I was fine as I waited for 5 minutes on an elevator to go back to my office on the 22^nd floor.  I was fine as the elevator went up…until about the 18^th floor.

I remember feeling extreme pressure between my eyes and top of my head.  I knew something wasn’t right.  It felt like somebody was just pushing my head down to the floor.  I looked up and saw 18 on the elevator display and it was slowly becoming black.  I remember saying aloud, “God, help me make it to my floor.”  The next thing I remember was my boss’ voice telling me that I would be alright.  Apparently he was waiting on the elevator so that he could go downstairs to donate blood.  As the doors opened, he saw my condition and was able to catch me before I passed out. 

I remember muffled voices.  I remember not being able to focus.  I remember being very sleepy and having trouble waking up.  I remember cold packs being put on my forehead and around my neck.  (Well, actually I realized later that they were cold packs because they didn’t feel all that cold to me.)  I remember people raising my legs.  I remember wanting to have control over my own body but not being able to.  When I could finally focus, I had about five faces looking down at me.  It took over an hour for me to recover enough for me to walk to my desk.  During that time I had coworkers, friends and strangers offering to help me in any way that they could.  I was still loopy around quitting time so Tate was my chauffeur home.  I slept like a baby that night.  I am extremely thankful that God answered my prayer on the elevator near the 18^th floor.  Will I donate blood again? Absolutely!!!  I just won't get off that little bed for about 10 or 15 minutes afterwards no matter how "fine" I feel.

In the days since my little “episode”, I couldn’t help but see God’s hand through it all.

v  God’s timing is perfect!  Greg could have gone to give blood at any time between noon and 4 pm.  He normally goes before I do.  God put him at that elevator at the exact moment that I would need help.  Greg’s focus shifted from his task to helping someone in need.  As I go through my day, do I notice if someone is in need?  Would I help or am I too focused on my “to do list”?

v  God is continually teaching us. In life, we will go through trials or experiences that aren’t pleasant.  Sometimes it’s for us to learn a lesson.  Maybe to be reminded that God is in control, not us.  Sometimes it’s so that in the future we can help someone else out when they go through the same thing.  Greg knew how to help me recover because he had done the same thing before himself.  Now I have the knowledge of what to do if I came along the same situation.

v  God’s focus is on people.  When I stepped onto the elevator, I had a bottle of water and oatmeal crème pie in one hand while the other hand held my phone and wallet.  Greg had to choose between catching me before I hit the ground or grabbing my material possessions before the elevator doors closed.  He chose what was most important.  Another elevator had arrived shortly after I passed out which would make the one that I just used next in line to be used by someone else.  My wallet and phone were still on that elevator.  Things could have gone from bad to worse had they been stolen but they weren’t.  When someone went to find my stuff, the doors opened and my stuff was right where I had dropped it.   Not only did God protect me physically, He protected me financially too.  Where do I place the most value in my life, on people or possessions?  Do I let God control over every aspect of my life?

v  God’s in control.  All the time.  No one and nothing can change that.  No matter how much I want to be in control, it’s not going to happen.  No matter how much I work hard at being in control, it’s just a lie because I will never obtain it.  The sooner I grasp that truth; the sooner peace will reign in my life.  As I laid on the floor having others move my body because I couldn’t…As I laid on the floor having others take care of me because I couldn’t take care of myself…As this control freak laid on the floor feeling very vulnerable and very frightened…I heard the words, “I’ve got you.  You’re going to be okay.”  It may have been Greg saying those words but I assure you that it wasn’t Greg’s voice that I heard.  I knew that God had answered my prayer.  I knew God was in control.  It was at that moment that peace engulfed my body and soul.

v  God still answers prayer…even for the hard headed recovering control freaks.

Bird Poop & The Flat

Dad was put into ICU on Friday, May 16th.  My days have been filled with hospital visits.  My mind has been filled with fear, anger and worry.  Tate knew I needed to get away to relax so he coaxed me to go fishing off a friend's pier.  His plan worked.  As we were leaving and discussing supper options, I hear Tate say, "Crap!"  A bird had pooped on his head.  I couldn't help but laugh.  I even got the giggles.  He tells me, "It's good to see you smile and hear you laugh.  Wish it didn't take a bird crapping on my head for it to happen but whatever it takes."  (Now that's self sacrificing love right there!)  So before we could go grab a bite to eat, Tate needed to wash his hair.  Originally we were going to head to Bossier for Newk's but as we got in the truck, Tate suggested Wendy's since it was closer to home.  "I can be good and get a salad" he said.  As we get closer to our destination, we start to debate between Wendy's and Whataburger.  "Just because I'm turning into Wendy's doesn't mean we have to stop.  We can go on to Whataburger."  Just as those words come out of Tate's mouth we turn the corner and see a Mom with her two teenage daughters trying to change a flat in the Wendy's parking lot.  We look at each other and smile because we both know Tate isn't going to leave without helping.  He says, "Apparently God wants us to eat at Wendy's."

As Tate is helping the eldest daughter change the tire, I get to talk with the Mom, Kim.  They were headed back to West Monroe from College Station TX after a ballgame.  They normally go to Dairy Queen when they're on the road but decided to go to Wendy's "to be good" with their food choices.  (Isn't that what Tate had said earlier?)  They had hoped to be home by now but were running behind.  (I wonder if God allowed the bird episode to happen so that we would be there at exactly the right time.)  Her husband couldn't go this trip but had provided them with a 2 ton jack and showed them what to do in case of a flat.  Tate went to work but he couldn't get the height he needed so he brought out his jack thinking it would help.  No such luck.  So he found the jack that came with the Rav4 and was able to change the tire.  The ladies had no clue on how to use that particular jack so they were watching closely to be prepared if it ever happened again.  Kim tried to buy our supper but Tate refused profusely.  "I pray that if Heather or my mom were in the same situation, a kind stranger would do the same for them.  All I ask is that you pay it forward some day."

As we drive home I remember the evening's events and see how God has orchestrated the entire thing.  He knew those ladies were going to be running late getting home and were going to have a flat tire in a Wendy's parking lot and He needed somebody there to help.  He knew I needed to relax and laugh so that I could get my focus off worrying.  So He allowed a bird to do an unpleasant deed to give me the giggles and to slow us down in getting supper so that we would arrive when the ladies needed help.  He made Tate to think of staying closer to home and "being good" with his food choices by going to Wendy's.  He made the ladies choose to "be good" by going to Wendy's instead of going to their normal route to Dairy Queen.  Even though Kim's husband provided her with a jack, God knew it wouldn't do the job so He sent Tate to show them what to do next time.  Now all of us have another testimony of how God's timing is perfect and how He provides in mysterious ways.

Defeated or Victorious?

I'm being bombarded.

For the past few weeks but especially the past few days God has been chiseling on His pot (me).  He talks to me through prayer, through His word, through Lysa TerKeurst books/blogs, through K-love and through friends.  This pruning hurts.  But I know it must be done.  So I accept it and work through the pain to make the changes that I need to.  It's hard.  Especially when you are a fixer.  (I was in middle school when Dad left and that's when I became a fixer AND a control freak.  The life I knew was spiraling out of control and for whatever reason I felt that I had to do everything in my power to stop it.  Where there was tension, worry, fear or problems, I had to fix the situation so that life would be "normal" again.  I've done it for so long that I will even take on other people's problems...that aren't even mine to fix...whether they ask or not...and I will spend/waste time and energy on trying to fix it.  Then if that person doesn't heed my instruction I get mad.  How dumb is that?!  Just one more area in my character/personality that God is working on...AGAIN.)  But I've always been told that God knows what's best for me.  He knows that what I need is not always what I want.  And that my "wants" are just cheap trinkets compared to what God has in store for me.  I need to quit wanting to be in control and submit to His will for my life.

On the flip side, Satan has raised his nasty head and I feel under attack.  Since I've decided to allow God to change me and I'm working diligently on those areas He wants me to address, Satan makes sure that I run into situations or people that will challenge that growth.  He wants me to fail.  He knows I am hot headed.  He knows I'm a fixer.  He knows I lack self control over my tongue.  And he is using each weakness to cause me to stumble.  He constantly reminds of my failures.  I have ruined my witness many a time with my words or actions.  Sometimes it was due to anger.  Other times it was because I was trying to "fix" the situation.  Either I would lash out at an individual to "put them in their place" since I just knew their actions were the root of all the problems. (How arrogant of me!)  Or I would use racy humor or language to accomplish the task of easing tension or lift moods.  Just recently I've come to find out just what the cost of my lack of self control over my mouth has done to others.  My heart hurts just thinking about it.

I was feeling defeated.  I wondered why God would want to use someone like me.  I make wrong choices.  I fail to model my life after Christ causing people to call me a hypocrite.  While I was wallowing in this pit of shame and guilt, God reminded me of the spiritual battle that is going on.

Ephesians 6 New International Version (NIV)

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. 19 Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

Satan is alive and well.  1 Peter 5:8 says "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." He will use whatever is needed to make a Christian fail to be an example of Christ.  The more guilt, shame and defeat he can cause to a Christian, the more likely that Christian will give up the fight.  Then there's one less Christian out there trying to win others to Christ.  In times like these I must decide whether I'm going to give up or stand back up, dust myself off and try again.  I've read the Bible.  I know how the story ends.  God is victorious and Satan is defeated.  So on this day I choose to not give up.  On this day I will put on the full armor of God and stand against Satan and his schemes. On this day I resolve to not be a hypocrite.  On this day I will ask for strength, guidance and self control over my words and actions so that I may be a shining example of Christ.

Never give up...never, never give up

I got my score yesterday for the FAR section. I didn't pass.  I felt like somebody had kicked me in my gut.  I had to hide to have my cry.  Then I got mad.  I gave up so much time to study for that section.  While others were enjoying life, I was strapped to a book.  I even had to juggle studying and taking care of Mom after her surgery.  (I do not regret my decision to take care of my mother.)  You'd think God would give me points for that and help me pass.  Then Hurricane Isaac made me reschedule.  It shook my mental game.  It would've been nice if God had given me points for enduring that as well.  The timing of the score release sucked since I take the AUD section today at 1:30pm.  My mind is playing tricks on me.  One minute I'm sad/mad about the whole situation.  The next I'm determined to not let this knock me down.  You only fail when you quit, right?  Then I think of how arrogant and disrespectful to God I've been with my thoughts.  He doesn't owe me anything.  The only thing hurt here is my pride.  Until now I've never really failed anything.  I've always passed.  Humility sucks and yet I feel better since this has happened. The pressure of "being perfect", "#1 in all that you do", and any of the other warped thoughts I learned from Dad's "helping" during my school days has been released. (Disclaimer: Dad did not intentionally mean to warp my thought process.  He just wanted the best for me and pushed me harder to achieve.)  The worse thing that could have happen during these exams was that I not pass.  Well it happened and I'm still standing.  There wasn't a crowd of people laughing and mocking me.  Nobody threw rocks at my car.  A huge neon arrow attached to a sign that read "She didn't pass so that makes her 2nd rate. Avoid any contact with her" did not magically appear over my head.  I didn't lose anything of value...even though the test wasn't cheap.)  However, I did receive compassion and encouragement from family and friends.  None of them suggested that I give up.  In fact they were adamant that I keep going.  (Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.)  So today is a new day.  God is still with me encouraging me to go on.  Today I pull myself up, knock the dirt off my pants and try again. 

Glad that's over

My thoughts about the test. You know that blindfolded guy who throws knives at the woman strapped on the wheel. Sometimes I felt like the guy and other times I was the woman. A few times I felt like the wheel and desperately wanting it to stop spinning. Praying I did well enough so I never have to do that section again

Early mornings, Exercise & Me..Not a good combo

I've been wanting to make better life choices and getting healthy was in the top 3.  Last week I started going to the gym before work.  I'm not a morning person so getting up instead of rolling over when the alarm clock sounded was a victory in itself.  This morning I rolled over.  When the alarm clock across the room went off, I jumped up, threw on my gym clothes and off to the gym I went. 

Due to time constraints, I skipped the weights and concentrated on cardio.  I was almost done on the treadmill when I looked out the window near the corner of the gym. I didn't see my car. Just a cop car where my car should be. My stomach dropped. I'm straining my neck and all I see is a cop car. I don't remember there being two parked in the parking lot. So I hop off the treadmill immediately. My mind is racing.

• why did this have to happen while Tate's gone
• what all was in my car
• what new vehicle do I want
• what a way to start a Monday

Hurriedly I wipe down the machine and grab my keys. As I get closer to the door, I see that I was very foolish. What I thought was a window showing a cop car was actually the mirror's reflection of the one cop car I had seen parked earlier. As I head out the door, there sat my car...all safe and sound.

They say that exercise is good for you. They say that it's better for you if you do it in the morning. That may be true for morning people but for those of us who would rather sleep later, events like the above have the ability to cause heart attacks. What good is that exercise then, hmmmmm?

I can laugh now. 30 minutes ago I could not. Figured you needed a laugh too.

Enjoy your Monday.

And the music played on....

I've always been in love with music.  Grandma Smith said that we were descendants of Bach.  That must explain it.  I've heard that "music has charms that soothe a savage beast" but it's more powerful than that.  I've seen it calm a baby, excite a crowd, help people fall in love, bring back memories for others, help us say goodbye to loved ones and usher the presence of God into a worship service.  I've experienced it's power many times.  It's helped clear my head and concentrate while studying or writing papers in school.  For those of us who have a hard time dealing with or showing emotion, it's the perfect outlet for all those feelings we bottle up inside.

It was on a child's organ that I figured out I could pick out melodies of songs, particularly commercials, on it.  My first "song","I'd like to teach the world to sing", was from the old Coca Cola commercial I heard all the time on TV.

Playing the piano at Grandma Smith's

Eventually Mom bought me an old player piano that had the player taken out.  I started piano lessons when I was in 4th or 5th grade.  I hated them.  I wanted to play music not learn dots on a page.  My mom had to set the oven timer to make sure I practiced.  Before my lessons, I had to wait on the girl before me.  She got to play the theme song from Young & the Restless and I was entranced.  THAT'S what I wanted to play.  Not this Twinkle Twinkle mess.  My teacher told me I couldn't because I was a beginner.  (Never tell a Tolbert they can't do something.)  "Ha! I'll show you!"  I got my old tape recorder and recorded the theme song off the TV and then I learned the melody.  When I had it memorized I played it as my warm up instead of what my teacher instructed me to play that day.  She wasn't happy but I didn't care.  I proved that this beginner could indeed play the forbidden song.  I believe it was then that she realized that teaching me to sight read was going to be harder than she thought.  Thankfully lessons with her only lasted 2 yrs.

Recital night in 4th or 5th grade

Piano was taught at the new Donnie Bickham Middle School (Yeah I know. I'm showing my age.) but I had a bad taste in my mouth from the last experience so I didn't take it.  Thankfully I changed my mind and took it for 2 yrs.  Mrs. Nelson was able to make me love playing the piano again.  Mom didn't have to set the oven timer anymore.  I even actually won awards at piano competitions.  That piano was a godsend.  My family was going through some tough times and I bottled up all my emotions.  The only way I could let them out was by "banging" on the piano.  Mom could tell my mood by what I would play or attempt to play.  I didn't have to see a shrink to get it out.  I just needed to play.  I had to leave it behind when my parents divorced and we moved to my grandparent's farm.  I tried lessons down there but it wasn't the same.  The piano playing bug had died...or so I thought.

Two weeks ago I went with Tate to Shreveport Music to pick up a wind screen for a church microphone.  While waiting on him, I sat on a drum set stool and listened to a couple talk to the piano guy about electronic pianos.  I began regretting that I gave up playing the piano.  An hour and a half later,  I have talked with the piano guy, gotten a history lesson on pianos, purchased a self teaching piano course book for adults and now know what I want for a graduation present.  The piano playing bug hadn't died.  It was just hibernating.

My new toy

Now it's time to teach the next generation the power of music.

Introducing Peyton to the piano

And the music played on...

Playing a tune for Aunt Heather

"When I say Whoa! I mean Whoa!"

There have been times in my life when it seems things or people just get in the way of my agenda and I get so frustrated because I can't mark an item off my to do list. But then I see God allowed for things or people to get my way so that I would slow down.  Sometimes it's to protect me.  Sometimes it's to teach me a lesson.  Sometimes it's to remind me that He is in control and that I should let go of my OCD and control freak tendencies and trust Him.  And sometimes...it's all of the above.

Yesterday I went to lunch with a friend.  We got back early so I decided to drop off my to-go cup of sweet tea and head to the bank and Hallmark.  I know I could have just sat and relaxed those last 10 minutes of lunch but I had a to-do list.  Anybody who really knows me, knows that I will not relax until my to do list is complete.  So since time is a commodity, I had to mark those two items off.  I got on the elevator on the 22nd floor.  A guy got on at the 17th floor.  We moved for a couple of seconds and then we stopped. And I mean stopped HARD.  Hmmm, this isn't normal.  I press the 13th floor button hoping to restart the elevator.  No such luck.  I buzz the guard to tell her we are stuck.  We were stuck for 15 minutes.  Good thing neither of us were claustrophobic.  Apparently other elevators were being worked on and our car's control switch got tripped.  They got the elevator going again.  Unfortunately it felt like we were on a six flags ride for a few floors. Another hard stop and then a six flags ride again.  (I'm all about saving money but I think I'd rather pay for a six flags ticket so I can choose which rides I get to ride.)  When those doors opened on the ground floor, I flew out.  I was super hot and my equilibrium was off.  It took about 20 minutes for me not to feel wobbly.  I've worked here for over 10 years and that was my first time to experience that.

I didn't want to run my errands anymore so I head back to my office. It wasn't until I got back to the office that I saw the bad weather coming.  Strong storms look even more eery and frightening when you work on the 22nd floor.  My coworker and I just stood and watched it for several minutes.  We watch as the dark, angry clouds roll in bringing with it a mini dust storm and impressive lightening show.  We can hear our windows creak and see them shake as the winds pick up speed and force.  I'm thinking to myself that as powerful as this storm is my God has complete control over it.  It was a comforting thought.  It was later when I was sitting at my desk that another thought occurs to me.  Had I not gotten stuck on that elevator I could have been returning from my errands and gotten caught outside during that storm.  The inconvenience of being stuck in an elevator was actually a blessing in disguise.  God was protecting me and I didn't even know it.

Because I often choose to complete my to-do list rather than sit and relax, I've been told to "stop and smell the roses", "enjoy the moment" or "with life, you need to focus on the journey not on the destination".  That line of thinking sounds good.  I just haven't learned how to apply it as well as others have.  Apparently this is a lesson that I really need to learn because God has made/allowed me to enter many situations that make me stop, put the to do list down, relax and put my total trust in Him.  After yesterday's incident and the realization that not only was God in control of everything but He also had my best interests at heart I couldn't help but think of Yosemite Sam on the horse hollering Whoa! Of course I'm the horse getting bopped on the head while God hollers "When I say Whoa! I mean Whoa!"  Apparently I can be hard headed.  I better learn this lesson soon because I can feel my head getting sore.


Image of Yosemite Sam - Whoa

Check your freezers!

My mom has always had a chest freezer.  When I was little, she would put two sets of my dad's tube socks on my feet and lower me in so I could hand her the stuff on the bottom.  I remember helping her with defrosting my grandmother's chest freezer on the farm.  I came across a milk carton like this...

I knew we left LA Tech in 1979 so why would Grandma still have a carton...especially one that contained shrimp.  Before my mom could shush me, I had asked the question loud enough for Grandma to hear.  Of course my mother wanted to throw it away but Grandma said, "It's got masking tape on it, so it's still good."

Fast forward to this past weekend.  Mom needed help defrosting two chest freezers.  Thankfully I didn't have to put on two sets of tube socks but I was the one handing Mom and Tate all the stuff.  I told Tate the above story and we all chuckled about it.  Then as I am working my way to the bottom of one of the freezers, what do my eyes behold?  You guessed it.

Instead of shrimp, this LA Tech milk carton had some sort of jelly juice stored in it.  The label was blurry but we figured it was April 1981.  This milk carton was put into use six months before my brother was born!  Thankfully I didn't have to convince my mother that just because there was masking tape on it, it did not mean that the contents were still good.

I was later told by two Tech Alumni that the dairy is being closed and that I should keep the carton as a collector's item.  Yeah well, I donated it to another collection agency.  You know the one that comes by once a week to collect all the other useless stuff stored in black bags that we don't want.

My Mother's Mascot

I went down to my mom's on Mother's Day to spend time with her.  Whatever she was doing, I was determined to try to help her out.  I learned quickly that the reason that my mother collects hummingbirds is because, subconsciously, this tiny bird is her mascot.  Why? Because she flits & flutters continuously on so many projects around the house (especially the yard) that when I blink I can lose her.  She rarely takes breaks and when she does...it's only a few seconds before she flies off to get into something else.  I was reminded of this once again as Tate and I made the trek down to the farm for the July 4th holiday.

My Mother...Oh, how I love her!

Facebook, my frenemy

"Frenemy" (alternately spelled "frienemy") is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival.[1] The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical, and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. The word has appeared in print as early as 1953. (Got this from Wikipedia so it must be true. lol)

Yep, that's what I think Facebook is.  The main reason I'm on Facebook is so that I can keep up with my brother in Japan.  Then I found some more family and a lot of classmates.  It was cool to see what they were up to these days, especially those I had to leave behind when I moved to the farm.  It cracks me up that some of the couples are comprised of people who wouldn't give each other the time of day in school.  I realized quickly that some people have a lot of time on their hands and like to stir up trouble on Facebook.  I've seen adults acting very childish on Facebook.  I've learned how to block those who want to list everything that they did that day.  I mean just because the doctor asks you how often you had a BM DOES NOT MEAN that we want to know all the gory details as well.  Then there are the gamers.  I must confess that at one time I was a Farmville fanatic and loved playing Family Feud.  I quit when I realized that I was spending more time on the computer than with those I loved.  

I'm not bashing Facebook entirely because it's really about having self-control.  I knew I had an addiction when turning on the computer was the first thing I did in the morning.  When did I allow my time on the Internet, especially Facebook, exceed the amount of time I spent with God or with my family and loved ones?  When did I allow other peoples’ lives to dictate whether I was a success or not?  When did I start asking my friends on Facebook about what to do about a situation before I asked God?

THE CONS

My last paper was about how social media sites are used in cyber forensics.  Of course law enforcement uses it to help with cases but others are catching on as well.  With the popularity of Facebook surging, old flames can connect again.  Unfortunately that connection can mean the termination of a marriage and the destruction of a family.  (I won't get on my soapbox this time but PawPaw used to say that the reason the grass looks greener on the other side is because of all the BS on that side.)  Divorce lawyers are having a heyday from all the information that is gleaned off Facebook.  Child custody battles can be swayed by what a parent posts on Facebook or MySpace. (Does anybody use MySpace anymore?)  Employers use social media sites to screen potential employees.  So you might want to rethink posting all those party pictures.  And you might want to watch your language or at least what you say about your job because that has caused people to get fired.

Facebook is a feeding ground for the "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality and the green-eyed monster.  Just because somebody has  _____________(fill in with jewelry, new home/car, vacation plans, spouse, kids etc.) does not mean you are less of a person.  (Sadly, I must confess that I have to remind myself of that sometimes.)  That person may be acquiring all that stuff and doing all those things to keep up with the crowd they run with.  All you see is the great stuff and fun times.  What you don't see is the mountain of debt that this person may have because of it.  I stress the word "may" because some are able to manage their finances better than others.  I’m a big believer in saving money.  My mom’s “rainy day fund” saved our family more than once.  But I also think it’s okay to spend it on something you enjoy…every once in awhile.

Stalkers.  Yep, as crazy as it sounds I had one a few years ago…about the same time I got on Facebook.  How?  I was a novice at Facebook and posted too much personal information.  I’m not 100% sure that that was where it started BUT the next thing I know is some creep is calling me at weird hours at the night and knowing too much for my liking.  Good news is that it’s not a problem anymore.  Being scared in your own home is not the way to live.  So please don’t post your address and phone # on Facebook.  For heavens sake, If somebody wants your #, send it to them in a message or try this novel thought…call them.  And don’t tell us that you’re going out of town because that’s like putting a lighted billboard in your yard saying “Please come and rob me blind because I’m not home to stop you.”

THE PROS

You can get thousands of birthday greetings on your big day.  Who doesn’t like that?  I don’t care how tough you think you are but you can’t help but feel good to see all those comments.

You can rejoice when a friend finds out good news and you can encourage a friend when they are having a rough day.  You can share a prayer request and people will encourage you and pray for you.

You can share pictures of your family, especially your kids, with those who are not close by.  (Hint Hint, Joshua!)

You can find out the latest hot spot to eat at, movie to watch or vacation spot to go to.  Have to change doctors or hair stylists? No problem.  Post that you’re looking for somebody new and a friend will help you out.  Whether you are looking for a new job, new house or starting a new side business, it provides a way to expand your network of contacts.

It’s a great place to post events for a good cause.  Whether it is about your church services or helping someone with a benefit dinner at a local restaurant, people won’t come unless they are told.  Kudos goes to the group raising money for the little girl at Chick-Fil-A a couple of weeks ago.  That group was passionate about helping her and her family.

It’s a great platform for you to be a witness for Christ.  I confess that not all my posts are godly. They should be.  Too many Christians, including myself, act one way when we are at church or around our Christian friends but we act another when we aren’t.  God called us to different.  Everything we say and do should glorify Him…even our posts on Facebook.  We aren’t going to convince somebody that Christ is the answer, when the language or content on our Facebook profile is no different from a lost person.

I know there are others out there that may share my opinion and others who don’t.  That’s okay.  This blog really wasn’t for you anyway.  It was to remind me that God comes first. Period.  It’s not up for negotiation.  And that Facebook, like with anything else in the world, can be used in a positive way or negative way for God.  The question is…who will I put first today, God or me?

Distractions

You may be confused at all the Max Lucado postings today but God knew I needed to read them sooo badly.  I posted them because I am pretty sure that there may be others who needed to read them as well.  I get so frustrated and ashamed with myself sometimes over my relationship with Christ.  Some days it's strong while other days it resembles a myth.  How am I to show others how awesome God is, if my actions/words don't back it up?  I know that God forgives us when we confess our sins to Him but why is it so hard to forgive yourself?

A couple of months ago, Lane Corley put the following on facebook:

"Satan doesn't have 2 destroy U to make U ineffective.  All he has 2 do is distract U."

Wow!  That was a powerful statement.  I had to share it with my SS class that morning.  It was no coincidence that the lesson was on being a consistent Christian.  It made me stop to think of the junk I allowed the devil to distract me with that morning.  How about the previous week?  

I picture us taking a walk while enjoying the surroundings. Then all of sudden something catches my eye and my focus goes from our conversation to it.  I've got to find out what that was.  So I basically turn my back on God while I go chasing after the distraction (family, friends, job, church duties, facebook etc).  I don't realize how far I've gotten from God until I realize something is missing in my life.  The peace that I once had is gone.  I turn around to look for God and realize that He never moved.  The fact of the matter is that I was the one who ran away from Him.  And no matter how far I ran this time, He never moved from where I left Him.  He kept watching after me...waiting for me to turn back to Him...willing to accept me back with open arms to continue our walk together.

And for that...I am extremely grateful.

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God is for You · Max Lucado

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It’s Not What You Do · Max Lucado

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